Anthony Bennett All-Stars
I know I have you wondering why the Anthony Bennett All-Stars? Well when you’re drafted #1 overall and completely flame out of the league after a few short years you deserve your own All-Star team. Requirements are how much of a non-factor you’re to your respective team, how much your contract is to your production, if you look out of place while on the floor where even a casual NBA fan would say “How is he in the league”. Take a journey with me to find who has the honor or being mentioned as the worst five players in the league this season. Without further ado take it away John Tesh!!
Adrian Payne: We start in Minnesota where we have a certain player who plays 5-8 minutes a game. Most nights you will find zeros next to his name due to him unable to do anything productive that makes you think he should even be on an NBA team. I had the privilege of watching him play in Portland recently when he played a grand total of five minutes. Payne put up a nice goose egg on the scoreboard, committed a couple of fouls, and got beat on a few drives to the basket while missing two wide open corner threes. Watching Payne play makes you wonder if Adam Morrison without practice and leaping ability would be a better then this display of inability to play basketball.
Roy Hibbert: After starting the season signing a one year five-million-dollar deal with Charlotte Hibbert played limited minutes and had fans say, “This guy was a two-time All-Star??”. He was later traded to Milwaukee along with Spencer Hawes in an exchange of bad centers helping Milwaukee salary dumb Miles Plumlee’s contract. A few short weeks later Milwaukee dumped him on Denver in exchange for a pick that might not even exist in the future. How the mighty have fallen from his All-Star seasons in 2012 and 2014. Hibbert is a shell of himself, watching him run up and down the floor makes your eyes hurt and feel sorry for him to the point where you need a beer to watch him get through a game. He is completely ineffective on either end of the floor where he has no lift on his shots on offense and is a stiff on defense. He shouldn’t even see the floor on the worst team in the league during game 82. Just call it a career and save us the agony of thinking you can help a team win.
Myers Leonard: Portland was spending money this past off-season like a drunken sailor to the tune of a 112 Million payroll this season good for second in the west behind the Clippers. One signing stuck out like a sore thumb in particular. None other than 4 years 40 million for Leonard who after being drafted 11th overall in the 2012 draft hasn’t developed into a reliable player that you can count on for even five minutes in a blowout. Anytime you’re not strong enough to bang with opposing brutes on the block and it takes the amount of time to send out a tweet for Leonard to take a three-point shot you have problems. At 10 million per year for a player who should be considered not able to play in the league is a reach to say the least. Former Blazer Raef LaFrentz should come out of retirement to take over Leonard’s role and he would fare better than Leonard who won’t improve anytime soon.
Miles Plumlee: The Curry, Lopez and Gasol brothers all have something in common they are both good. The Plumlee brothers is a different story, Mason plays for Denver and is a talented backup center who can help a team win and even start for a lower tier playoff team. His brother Miles struggles to find anything he is good at. What did Milwaukee have to do for a team to actually trade for him? Charlotte somehow thinks they received a backup center that can give them productive minutes while Cody Zeller sits. Productive minutes and Miles Plumlee makes as much sense as someone telling you that Tupac is still alive. At a cool 12.5 million per season Plumlee is the second worst player in the league for his contract and Charlotte can have him.
Chandler Parsons: The leading vote getter is none other than the 22 million albatross of a contract in Chandler Parsons. Anytime you need to make a big free agent signing you might as well sign a player whose knees are so shot that he can barely dunk. But hey, at least it’s a big name that a main reason he was signed to play limited minutes and be ready to go for the 2017-2018 season. Memphis could have paid Vince Carter a bonus for playing in the league at 40 years old and lit the rest of the money on fire rather than give Parsons a cent. Parsons agent should run for president if you can get a barely functional player a 94 million contract all GUARANTEED!! Then you deserve it. When you watch, Parsons play this season he left you little to believe that he can even be 10% of what he was in Houston while he had functional knees and was a useful player. Now he is the worst player in the league with the worst contract and our pick for LVP of the league.
Special thanks to Anthony Bennett for having a marvelously terrible NBA career, John Tesh and Chandler Parsons agent for your contributions and see you next year