Third Annual Anthony Bennett All-Stars
With the regular season winding down, it’s that time of the year to have a quest of finding the worst five players in the league. In a year where the MVP race is tight, Brooklyn will make the playoffs, players getting into it literally with fans & Lebron not making the playoffs. This season has been wild, and John Tesh is ready to rock and roll.
Bismack Biyombo- We kick things off with the third string center on the Hornets making 17 million a year. Somehow Biyombo played so well for Toronto in the playoffs that Orlando paid him for reasons that are still unexplainable. Ever since, he has been buried on the bench for lottery bound Magic teams with bad coaching until this season. During the off-season Orlando found a sucker to take on his contract that still has another year left to go thanks to the 2016 spending spree when teams were drunken sailors. Charlotte owned by Michael Jordan who makes moves from the golf course for all we know, had to trade for him probably because he lost a bet. Moves like this should make Kemba Walker walk out the front door with his uniform on and have someone drive him to the airport and leave town.
Timofey Mozgov- Most fans have no idea he is on a roster. The fact that he is paid to be an “NBA Player” is about as laughable as his car commercials. It’s hard to come up with such a worthless 7’1 center in the league who sucks so bad you have to google who he plays for. Mozgov hasn’t even played a game this season while making 16 million a year with another year left you can’t make this up. The fact that Orlando moved Biyombo for him and saving a million in salary is so weird, it’s like the choice between the last two kids in PE dodgeball and your forced to make a choice. It seems like in the off-season he will take a buyout, play for a Russian team and partake in all the Vodka he can handle just so NBA GM’S can’t be held at gunpoint to give him a contract like the Lakers did.
Miles Plumlee- Another player where we didn’t even know he plays in the league and who he even plays for. Somehow Biyombo, Mozgov and Plumlee have all been traded for Dwight Howard. It’s a sad reality when a team is that excited to trade Howard to receive the trash fire of talent in return. What does Plumlee do to be an NBA player besides his brother plays for Denver? Plumlee is slow, bad shooter, not athletic and might as well be the ball boy during warmups. I can’t think of someone so irrelevant than this dude, the fact that the TV analyst for the other team who used to play 10 years ago is better than Plumlee you know you have reached rock bottom. At 12.5 million a year you can’t make this up that these players exist in the league.
Ryan Anderson- This is a fall from grace for a player who was good two years ago. Before being traded to Phoenix, Anderson mattered on a Houston team that depended on him to spread the floor for a playoff team built around James Harden. Now Anderson is sipping Mojitos on the Miami bench while on an expiring contract to the tune of 20.4 million. By trading Tyler Johnson for him just to get Anderson off the books and out of the league will help Miami get a relevant player in the summer. Anderson belongs in the Big 3 not guarding anybody and shooting 30 footers on the losing team and Michael Rapport wouldn’t even want to interview him.
Chandler Parsons- Can we get Anthony Bennett to present the award to Parsons? Can this be a thing? The biggest waste of space in the league almost got bought out only to have nobody pick him up cause even at a million he would suck so bad he would make Brandon Knight look good. Parsons was a big reason for Marc Gasol getting traded making 27.5 million and obliterating their salary cap, now the organization doesn’t have a direction to go in thanks to an owner being so delusional that Parsons would be good enough to form a big three with Mike Conley and Gasol. If the Grizzlies don’t buy out Parsons, I feel like the NBA should step in and move them to Seattle. There should be a jersey retirement ceremony for three years in a row to be the worst player in the league there will nothing like it even Jesse Smollett will attend.
The players that came close to being on this list were JR Smith, Ian Mahinmi, Solomon Hill and Jon Leuer. To close out the show here is a clip of Anthony Bennett being Anthony Bennett. Until then, keep getting them checks and see you next season.